Soldiers' Angel - Holly Aho

Ok, so I have this necklace with a large glass pendant. The past couple of days I've worn it, and my daughter at first called it a phone. Now, my daughter is pretty bright, so I couldn't figure out why she'd make a mistake like that. In fact, she kept insisting it was a phone.

It took a few days of gentle encouragement to convince her this was a glass bead. Not a glass bead little phone. Not a bead phone. Not a little phone bead. Just a glass bead. Now she'll tell you, with an "ok, if you say so" look on her face, "It's a glass bead. Not a phone bead. A glass bead."

If only I were as bright as she is. Today I figured out the reason for the confusion.

My phone:

My necklace:

Hate stickers but your kids love them? Me too. I hate scraping them off of car windows, mirrors, walls, whatever. And storybooks with stickers are stupid. Kids don't realize they can't remove and adjust stickers so pages get ripped, stickers get folded up funny. In short, they look alot more fun in the package as opposed to the actual playtime.

But there's one way to have fun with stickers that's easy and cheap. And appropriate for any age group that can use stickers. What you'll need is a photo album with magnetic pages to start. They are not really magnetic, I mean the cheap photo albums with the peal and stick photo display pages with the plastic cover that sticks over the whole lot. Besides stickers and the photo album you could add washable markers or dry erase markers.

Using this type of photo album for sticker display allows stickers to retain much of their stickiness so they can be repositioned and used again and again. Once a page has been decorated press the clear cover over the stickers like you would for photos.

If you want to get real crafty let the kids use the markers on the clear cover of each page to create full coloring scenes for their stickers that can be washed off or dry erased.

I still have my sticker book from 25 years ago, one that held my treasured stickers from elementary school age. Believe it or not, the scratch and sniff stickers all retained their smell from being stored this way. Fun!

My son's kindergarten class created a book called "How to Cook a Turkey". Each student filled out a page that outlines their idea of how you cook a turkey. Here are a few of the good ones:

"I will shoot him in the woods. He will weight 2 pounds. I will cook him at 1 degree for 1 minute. I will stick a toothpick in the oven and if it is red it's ready and it is black it's too hot. If it's plain it's too cold. I will eat the meat in the tummy. It will taste just like meat."

"I will buy it at the grocery store. He will weigh 100 pounds and cost 6 dollars. I will put the oven at 100 degrees and cook him for 98 minutes. I will eat the whole thing!"

"I will shoot my turkey and he will weigh 2,000 pounds. I will bake him at 1,000 degrees for 20 minutes. I will know when he's done when the timer beeps. I will eat the leg and it will taste like a burnt turkey!"

and my son's page:

"I will buy my turkey at Walmart. I think he will weigh 15 pounds and cost 60 dollars. I will cook him for 10 minutes at 88 degrees. I will look at the timer to see when he's done. I will eat his legs and they will taste like meat!"

Kids can be more clever and funny than we sometimes give them credit for. My son Thomas is a great example of occasional pure genius in practical jokes.

I often work sitting on the floor of our living room, with laptop in hand. When I take a break, I leave the laptop (and work stuff) on the floor. Despite having 5 kids in the house, including one 2 year old, the laptop has suffered no injury. However, I do use a wireless mouse and sometimes my 2 year old will steal it.

The last time she did this, I asked Thomas to go find my mouse for me. He found it, but instead of returning it to me he went to my husband's desk. My hubby has the same mouse as I do. Thomas grabbed my hubby's mouse and then brought it to me saying he'd found mine.

After he left the room I sat down to work and the mouse was doing all sorts of crazy things! I thought it was broken. As I'm trying to use it I'm saying outloud to myself "What's wrong with this darn mouse!?....What the heck? I didn't click that!...". And as I'm saying this, Thomas comes slowly up the stairs into view holding my real mouse in his hand as he clicks things and moves it over his palm, trying hard not to burst into laughter.

Twas pretty clever and very funny!

A few days ago we took my oldest son and three of his friends to a nice restaurant for dinner. One of his friends ordered a steak (I think for the first time). The waiter asked him, "And how would you like it cooked?"

My son's friend looked shocked a moment and then sputtered out, "Done?"

..Don't bring me no half cooked food! LOL
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Also recently, my oldest son was telling me about his adventures in his online game he likes to play. Apparently, in the game you can set up a shop as a merchant and sell game items to other players, like coins, weapons and armor. He was gleefully recalling his latest store experiences of working up to be a millionaire. He told me how he'd purchased a bunch of items that were nearly worthless, and then set up shop and sold each item for thousands of points (or whatever). He laughed as he said that lots of players were buying these items and he was raking in the profits.

I instantly felt sympathy for the players buying his stuff and said "Awww, these are probably new players who aren't aware of the Items' real value. Poor people!"

He replied, "Well, I named my store 'Gigantic Rip-offs, Buy Here!'"
Sympathy went right out the window as I howled with laughter.
LOL!
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And another...

Last month my kids and I were eating lunch together when Tommy (my 7 year old) said he needed more water to drink and stood up with his cup. Noel (my 13 year old) looked in his cup and chimed in that he also needed a refill and told Tommy to fill his cup too. Tommy looked at him askance and said "Get your own drink."

Well, Noel, being so much older than the rest, often acts like a not so benevolent king with his minions when ordering his younger brothers around. He replied, "Don't be a twerp! What, is it too hard to fill my cup too? Not strong enough to carry it?" Handing his cup to Tommy he ordered "Get my water!"

Tommy's defiant face wiped clean into an obedient and friendly face as he politely took the cup and headed to the faucet. Not realizing something had just gone horribly wrong for him, Noel continued eating and feeling like royalty. Tommy took quite a long time at the sink, and mildly suspicious at this Noel often turned around to check on what he was doing. But Tommy was always at the sink, holding a cup, water running. After more than 30 seconds however, Noel began to throw new insults over his shoulder at Tommy. "What, is it too hard for you to get water?"....."What is taking you so long slave?"...."Can't find your way back to the table?" After each insult he smiled at his ingenuity and wit.

Finally, Tommy returned to the kitchen table with 2 cups of water. Noel checked his cup and then took a big drink as Tommy sat. Noel spit it right back out and shrieked, "HOT water? Are you retarded? Why would you pick hot water?"

Tommy smiled politely and replied, "I don't know what you mean. My water is nice and cold." He smiled and took a sip.

Noel hasn't bossed Tommy around in a while.

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On one Christmas morning a little kid made with a magical hat.And on that very night the snowman came to
life."I,m alive"said the snowman!TO BE CONTINUED

Bwaaaahaaaahaaaa!

Seems a ligitimate question to a 7 year old. My son Thomas asked me the other day if people have nuggets inside them like chickens do. He was assuming that a nugget was a body part like a thigh or wing. He just wondered if we had nuggets too.

Oh, so many things you can answer to questions like these! Could be an entire afternoon of fun! But I was nice and told him the truth.

A GIRL'S ESSAY ON BOYS
Boys are men that have not got as big as their papas, and girls are women that will be ladies by and by. Man was made before woman. When God looked at Adam he said to himself: "Well, I think I can do better if I try again." And He made Eve. God liked Eve so much better than Adam that there have been more women than men.
Boys are a trouble. They wear out everything but soap. If I had my way, half the world would be girls and the rest dolls. My papa is so nice that I think he must have been a little girl when he was a little boy.
Man was made, and on the seventh day he rested. Woman was then made, and she has never rested since.

~Found in my Great Grandma's 1926 highschool year book.

And I have 4 boys. They can wear out soap!

Things I've learned in the past 24 hours - transformer toys don't always transform, and the X-Box 360 is a piece of crap.

Riddle #1: What do you call a transformer toy that only resembles a toy that transforms?

Riddle #2: If the X-Box 360 were made in China, how many executives would have been executed by now?

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